Last week, we received this fax:
There's a sketchy quality about it that feels familiar, doesn't it? For the bargain price of £499 (plus VAT), a small business can have this middle man provide the following 5 services:
Indexing on Google (already FREE)
Indexing on MSN (already FREE)
Indexing on Yahoo! (already FREE)
Google Local Business Directory Listing (already FREE)
Google Maps Listing (already FREE)
£499 for services that my dear 1/2 dead Aunt Mildred could do for herself...Wow, what a deal coming from the EMS Internet company! And this same package retails on their website for £803.85!! (can someone say pricing inconsistencies? that's a £300 difference). And this is the icing on the cake - the EMS Internet company motto is "making the web affordable." (for legal issues, I can't paste the logo & tag line into this post, sorry!)
I decided to give them a ring and find out more about their products. A man with a Scottish accent (maybe just a northerner?) picks up the phone and begins describing the various packages to me:
Google Ultimate Package - £1,950 EMS maintains and guarantees first page position for an entire year - on keywords that THEY choose. £750 upfront, with £100/month for a year.
Indexing Package - £499. EMS will make sure a spider crawls for the big three search engines. They also say they'll try to get my site listed for some keywords, but they make no guarantees on this package.
My phone call to EMS, summarized:
Me: So how do you decide what terms, what did you call them? Oh yeah, "keywords" - how do you decide what keywords to get a website listed for?
EMS guy: We decide how competitive a key phrase is, and then decide if it's worth it for a client. Let me show you an example of a client. Google the term "Bedford patios".
(I did...)
EMS guy: As you can see, there are 1,420,00 results for the term bedford patios, it's very competitive." And proceeds to show me his client, Kennett Building Services, who is listed first for the term.
"Bedford patios" is "extremely competitive". Let's see what Google's keyword tool has to say about that:
So little volume on the term that there is... NO VOLUME. None! Is EMS full of blatant liars or people who just don't know anything about SEM?
But what I think is most shaming about the EMS Internet website is their spook tactics in trying to rope in clients:
"search engines may eventually find your website, one day. But with so many web pages out there (over 1,000,000,000,000 now in Google) and so many new websites going live every day it's a risk we would not advise."
It angers me that this type of behaviour mars the SEM industry, and more importantly, SEM professionals. And while the capitalist American in me wants to say "well who cares? If people are dumb enough to pay it, it's a way to profit" I cannot forget the small business patio builder from Bedford who probably invested a sizable amount of his profits in this pathetic attempt at SEO.